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Hello, blog.

Sorry for the lack of updates. Again, I had no Internet.

I hate not having proper Internet. Instead, I have to use a 3 Broadband Wireless dongle type of thing. And, to use the Internet, I have to top up every now and then. I usually top up £10 every 5 days - and that's a lot of money. It's basically just like topping up your phone, really.

I hate using it. Mainly because I can't do as much when using it. Like, I can't watch videos, and that's what irritates me the most, because I feel left out when everyone is seeing the new videos from bands, really. And some music TV stations, like Scuzz for example, don't show the new videos for like a month, so frustrating!

Oh, well. I'll have proper Internet soon, just waiting on the father to sort everything out, really.

Oh. And as I type this, it appears that my wireless dongle has disconnected again, so I'm basically writing this without any Internet connection - lovely! Must remember to re-connect it before I publish this post.

So, I haven't really been up to much. I made a new Tumblr (http://waitandfuckingbleed.tumblr.com), and yet again, I am addicted. It's actually hard to get away from Tumblr nowadays, and to be quite honest, I'm absolutely fine with that.

I've also been thinking a lot recently. Main thinking topic being what I'm going to do now that I'm not at college. And I have come down to a conclusion - I am going to apply for a new college and study childcare. This is going to be -really- difficult considering that I haven't got my results page thingy anymore, and I'll need that to enrol, but hopefully I'll be able to sort that out soon!

Other than that, I haven't really done much. I really need to get out more...

PS: My Internet re-connected itself, clever wee thing.

New Year's Resolutions.

So. This blog is going to be about New Years Resolutions.

I came up with several New Years Resolutions for 2011, two have already been broken, but hey! There was no way that I'd probably be able to complete them all, eh? So, lets list what they were!

• Meet Corey Taylor again -- Right, well, anyone who knows me well enough would know how much this man means to me. I've already met him, and that was quite easily the best day of my life. But, looking back on it, I have grown to hate myself more and more. Why? Because I didn't say what I've always wanted to tell him. Yeah, I've DM'd him numerous time, thanking him and all, but that's not the same as saying it to his face, so as a conclusion, my New Year's Resolution is to meet him again, and thank him.

• See Slipknot live -- Well, Slipknot have been announced as the headliner for Sonisphere, and I am -dying- to go. At the moment, there's a 90% chance that I won't be going, and to be honest, that is a real shit feeling. I have it stuck in my head that this will be their last UK performance, because I personally don't see them doing a worldwide tour and/or creating a new album. And, ever since I became a fan of them, I've always wanted to see them live, so yeah, I want this one to come true, real bad.

• Blog everyday -- Well, this resolution didn't work out, because I had no Internet for a few days, so yeah.

• Learn not to care about what people think about me -- This resolution also didn't work, because due to past events that occurred this year, people's words have still hurt me, so yeah.

I have many other resolutions, but I don't consider them as proper resolutions, more a to-do list in 2011.

What are your New Years resolutions, and have you achieved/broken any of them? :)

La-dee-da.

All this talk of blogging over a very entertaining MSN conversation, occurring at 7am, has got me in the mood to blog once again.

I didn't manage to complete one of my New Year Resolutions, which was to blog everyday. I actually haven't blogged properly for a numerous amount of days, so yeah, there's that resolution out of the window.

I'm actually going to blog properly from now on, and talk about main topics occurring around the world and what not, so watch out for a blog approaching here soon... yeah.

.-.

I just want to re-live 19th October so bad.

I want to tell my hero how much he means to me. I feel like a complete idiot everyday because I didn't say anything to him. Well, I did, but it was nothing.

Yeah, obviously I was just... shocked because my hero was stood right in front of me, but I just wish I could've said something more.

Ugh.

/upsetkayisupset.

This hurts.

Hurts more than you can ever imagine.

I can't even explain what I'm feeling, because to be quite honest, I'm confused, too. But, I'm hurting inside. I just -don't- get it.

Why do I feel this way. Why, why, why. >.<

This hurts.

The one thing that truly destroys and devastates me is when I see my best friend upset and broken.

When somebody hurts me, I usually get hurt, but I usually can cope with it, and that's because I know I have my true friends out there. But when my best friend is that way, I feel broken. My heart shatters and I start to feel like the worst friend in the world.

The main thing that I want in life more than anything is for my best friend to be happy. I know that it's going to take a lot of work considering the condition he's currently in, but I know that one day, he will be okay. And the day when he's happy, is when I'll be happy, because I've learnt that knowing that he's not well, and that he's not happy, well, it makes me feel like crap personally, and it worries me, and yeah, I just feel like shit. And I know that the both of us are fed up of feeling that way. We both want to be happy more than anything. And one day, that will happen.

I'm going to work my hardest to make him happy. I'm not going to let him doubt himself any more, because there is absolutely nothing wrong with him. He's the bestest friend I've personally ever had. He's been there for me through thick and thin, just like I've been there for him. Never will an amazing guy like him doubt himself. Never.

I don't know if he'll read this, but I just want him to know that I'll never, ever, leave his side. He's never going to lose me as a friend, because I care. He is a part of me now, and I don't care how pathetic that sounds. I'm speaking the truth. He is my best friend, and I love him so much.

/blog over.

Fourth of January, Twenty-Eleven.

Lol. What an eventful day today has been then, eh?

I finally managed to buy my games. I almost wasn't allowed to fucking buy Final Fantasy because it's apparently rated 21, when in fact, it's rated 16. And I'm 16. Lol. Better luck next time, stupid Argos worker.

So. I also got Animal Crossing. FUCK YEAH. I love that game so fucking much. Judge me. I don't care. XD

Anyway. I can't really be bothered blogging tonight. But I'm gonna say one thing: If you're going to bother fucking doubting my relationship, go ahead, whatever. At the end of the day, you're wrong. You're not gonna affect my relationship, and if you're going to insult my fucking boyfriend, at least get to know him first, aye? Fucking cunt.

Bye.